Dashboard Confessional - Get Me Right

Coldplay - Til Kingdom Come

It is uber-important for those of us in relationships to not be selfish. When the me-first mindset takes hold, one of the first things that happens is that person A becomes unaware of the needs of person B. When person A learns of person B’s needs, person A will often see those needs as invalid because person A is the reference point and measure for basically everything.

And this can add up to gender warfare. Men scoffing at women, thinking that their differences make them inferior. Women scoffing at men, thinking their differences make them insensitive.

This the is gal who gets offended that her fella wants her to workout, thinking he’s shallow and not loving her for who she is. This is the guy who gets pissed that his lady wants more talks and hugs, thinking that she’s somehow weak or high maintenance. (Yes there are unhealthy, overbearing, and dependent relationships - I’m not talking about those)

Through some research I’ve done, I’ve come across a helpful summary of His Needs, Her Needs,  a book by clinical psychologist and author Dr. Willard Harley. Harley describes 5 ‘typical’ needs of a man and of a woman. May we be people who are both aware and humble enough to acknowledge the validity of the needs of our significant others.

Men

Sexual fulfillment

Recreational companionship

An attractive spouse

Domestic support

Admiration

Women

Affection

Conversation

Honesty and openness

Financial support

Family commitment

I’ve decided that my life needs leisure, so a bit of college hoop on XBox 360 it is. Ah, the world of make-believe:

Augustana - Boston

The Postal Service - Be Still My Heart

I am Jack’s melting heart.

Grace weighs a cool 7 pounds.

Purple hats rule.

The shot, just minutes after birth, proves my wife can’t be anything but beautiful at all times.

Dev was a rock star during labor.

Sleep has been elusive, but smiles plentiful.

I love Violet Quinn Detmers; so much that it hurts.

The Avett Brothers - And It Spread

In a recent article, Tim Keller addresses idolatry with relevance, clarity, and precision. His insights definitely strike a few chords with me. Here are a few quotes:

“An idol is something you rely on instead of God for your salvation…”

“We tend to worry about drugs, drinking, and pornography. But it’s not bad and nasty things that are our biggest problems. Sex, work, and money are great goods. They are intrinsic to our being made in God’s image. If God is second place in your life and one of them is first, you’re cooked. These things are candidates for first place because they are so great.”

(How does someone identify their idols?)

“Look at your daydreams. When you don’t have to think about something, like when you are waiting for the bus, where does your mind love to rest? Or, look at where you spend your money most effortlessly. Also, if you take your most uncontrolled emotions or the guilt that you can’t get rid of, you’ll find your idols at the bottom. Whenever I hear someone say, “I know God forgives me, but I can’t forgive myself,” it means that person has something that is more important than God, because God forgives them. If you look at your greatest nightmare—if something were to happen that would make you feel you had no reason to live—that’s a god.”

A synopsis of his new book, Counterfeit Gods:

“When I give food to the poor they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.”- Bishop Dom Helder Camara

“Washing one’s hands [of the struggle] between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral.”- Paulo Friere

As I eluded to before, it’s not uncommon to see an apathetic/individualistic/fatalistic attitude about solving structural problems, especially when (because) one isn’t directly and negatively affected. So, allow me to prod a little more…and just in case the red scare is still in effect: I affirm that a planned/controlled economy is a disaster for a plethora of reasons.

Disclaimer aside, the market is a fallen entity and pregnant with moral considerations. We mustn’t look at it too simply and miss an entire ethical dimension, that would be like calling a cube a square.In God’s economy, everyone matters, not just profit motive. The CEO’s, those who hold stock, the consumers, those in US, those over “there”, the man, the little guy, and even labor.

Everyone matters.

So, are there additional questions to ask besides, “how can I get goods and services (that I mostly don’t need in the first place) as inexpensively and efficiently as possible?” The following video asserts that to say “no” would be shortsighted and self-oriented, privileging abstract principles over real people.

Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc. (Album Crossfade)

Those who lean right tend to focus on personal holiness issues. Lefties tend to focus on communal justice issues. We can peg ourselves on one extreme if we a) care about one type and not the other and b) think true morality is simply an ‘either/or’ instead of a ‘both/and’ when dealing with individual & corporate issues. The God of the Bible is portrayed as ‘both/and’, Jesus was ‘both/and’ — so, shouldn’t we be as well?

My experience and reading of culture tells me that evangelicals often have a largely individualistic view of morality & ethics, sometimes reducing the inquiry almost exclusively to matters of personal holiness. What it means to be good or bad usually goes like this: “I don’t cheat on my taxes” or, “I told a lie” or, “I have sex in the correct ways”. I agree, but let me push back…

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…this is the 91st time (right Sean?) that I’ve posted The Avett Brothers doing “Laundry Room.” Enjoy.

Tegan & Sara have put out some catchy new stuff (listen here) AND they’ve booked a Detroit show in March.

Ryan Adams - Wonderwall

Peter said, (2 Peter 1:5-9)

“…make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.”

When examining the Greek (I don’t know Greek, but I can spend 5 minutes clicking around a website with the best of ‘em), we learn Peter uses the word, spoude (spoo-day’).

Spoude means get on it.

I wonder if spoude is the same kind of powerful exclamation that the late Freddie Mercury had in mind when he screamed, “Get on your bikes and ride!” at the end of an especially catchy Queen song…

Go after goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness, and love with: (definition of spoude)

- haste, with haste
- earnestness, diligence
- earnestness in accomplishing, promoting, or striving after anything
- to give all diligence, interest one’s self most earnestly

So, the question is, what does it practically look like for us to “make every effort” with those virtues?

Since childhood, I’ve wanted to be a dynamic communicator. I was always that kid giving speeches or presentations in class, or at banquets, graduation, or any other time the only requirement to be allowed to speak was not being shy. However, over the past few years, I’ve began to think deeply about what it takes deliver an idea with excellence. Thus, I want to tell you about a book that I’m reading, Made to Stick. What follows are the 6 main principles…

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